Are You Actually Connected?
Most people reject whatever isolation they've achieved, whether it's the isolation of their education, career, or their beauty. They've found some way to shut the world out, and [then] reject this, and form a community with other people, and eventually one other person. In a way, it's all really a huge leap of faith, when people come to terms with aspects of life, like mortality, in the face of what you can probably call nihilism. Finally… you are able to commit yourself to the one person that you can be with for the rest of your life— that's depth. We all have an insidious dark side... those terrifying catacombs that seem to form a maze of sadness in our subconscious minds.
You could easily be one of the people who shapes our culture, but there appears [at least to me] to be this sense of wavering… like you aren't completely confident in what you are able to accomplish on your own. During the majority of our lives we aren't really connecting with other people because we're texting or tweeting or engulfed in cyberspace. In a way, technology has become what the weather used to be. Eventually, most of your conversations degrade to, "So, is it hot there? Did it rain this week? How is everyone today?" They become about this really safe, detached thing. When you disconnect by escaping into the realm of what you believe can be controlled… you lose sight of the adventure that IS life. It's about the subtle things… like the tone of your voice, or the expressions on your face. Truly "meeting" new people and moving away from the "inner circle" of those who are comfortable.
I love meeting and talking to people I don't know. I find myself being far more honest about who I am. I love hearing what someone else has to say. I want to absorb it all and create on a far more significant level. It comes down to fighting the battles you can fight. First and foremost is to tell a story that really excites and entertains people. Tell YOUR story. Don't think beyond that. You just cannot think beyond that, because then you're caving in to fear and insecurity. You've completely unnerved yourself. Everyone has a story, a life that is filled with chapters and I find it engaging to read a few chapters as I converse with someone new. The thing I love the most is that these people are REAL. They aren't working so hard at creating an "image". So what am I getting at here?
I have attended various film festivals over the years... (the Sundance Film Festival comes to mind) and I was always fascinated to see these incredible groomed and styled movie stars that would just wander freely, unencumbered through the landscape. They wouldn't have a coat, they wouldn't have a purse, they wouldn't have anything in their hands. They would just be these beautiful things that were like animals that had wandered out of the forest of some enchanted land. They'd be surrounded by people, flashlights, paparazzi, just this kind of nimbus, this halo of flashing beautiful light. I was always fascinated because maybe twenty steps away would always be this dowdy woman who'd be carrying all their crap. Their tote bag, their coat, their purse, the make-up cases, thermoses, everything that went into making the beautiful woman beautiful was being lugged around by this dumpy woman who was always far enough away that she would never get caught in the photograph. I thought it was fascinating to have that kind of Jungian separation between the ideal perfect-seeming woman and then the other woman who had to carry the burden of that smoke and mirrors image of perfection.
I would always talk to the dowdy woman and blow off the actress or actor. Why? Because she wasn't so busy trying to live up to self-imposed unreachable expectations. She was connected. Are you connected? Not just to the people in your immediate circle of friends and family, but others? How about the barista where you get your coffee? The cashier at the supermarket? Your child’s teacher? We have the opportunity to connect with other human beings everyday, but we rarely take it. Why? Are we too busy? Too worried we will intrude? Don’t want anyone to see the real person inside? What about your connection with yourself? Do you have one or have you cut it off and are merely existing? Do you know what you want out of life? Have you given up and stopped asking? Spend some time this week reconnecting.
Awareness and acknowledgment of our issues is an accomplishment and it comes with age. Let's not kid ourselves— getting older is not all bad. There are gifts that come with age.You see much more "clearly". You have lengthy moments of absolute CLARITY. I get less frightened. I get much more open to taking risks, and, as a result, you're more likely to get what you want. You have to try to get what you want, and you might not always get it but if you try you feel less bad if you don't get it. I'm not scared anymore. I used to be really scared. I have more of a sense of self-worth because I worked really hard and then got opportunities that came my way. Those things stay with you. How pretty you are how successful you are, those don't stay with you. Those can go away. You're number one for a day and then you slide down. Success is a nebulous idea. REAL success is being whoever you are at the moment ... and loving that moment... basking in it... allowing it to wash over you... because you will never pass this way again.